Can a fertile friend really support and understand a fertility challenged one? Especially if they have no experience with infertility? The answer is a big yes! All it takes is time to learn what they’re going through (a little self-study), patience to listen when they need to talk, and a willingness to offer support (without offering advice).

However, even those with the best intentions may unintentionally say things that are hurtful. Here are 10 things to stop doing if you have a friend or family member struggling with infertility, plus how to support them better.